Tuesday, February 17, 2009

If I Wished on Wishes

Memories are the places I go to enjoy
Time spent quietly with my little boy
Sometimes others see that I've gone
Mostly, before they know it, I'm home.
Longer vacations might take all day.
Those are the days I stay in Pj's.


Since I lost you I can't stop searching.
I do it without even thinking.
I've Googled your name, and searched the maps,
panned North and South and zoomed up close.
You're not on the social networking sites either,
The picture isn't yours on Facebook friend finder.

If you had email I'd send you one every day.
If you had a mobile I would SMS, Hey :-)
If you were here I would take your picture.
And that cute T-shirt, it now would have fit you.
I'd round up a million memories of you as you are,
and store them all away in my heart.

I know you are somewhere nearby,
not in the ground and not in the sky.
You are somewhere that I cannot go,
I'll still keep on looking for you, even though,
I know it wont be you when I get close
(because life is better when lived with hope).

Its just not fair that you went so soon,
I know you were ready, I suppose I was too,
And I know its not a permanent goodbye.
But, I miss you. I miss you all of the time.
And, if I wished on wishes, my wish would be to,
hold you again, and remember every part of you.

by Julie Cozens

1 comment:

  1. I wish I had let my grief flow instead of holding it in a 'safe' form for myself (and the others who could not cope with my pain). But perhaps there was no choice for me at the time. I hate that my sister has had to go through this. I hurt for her pain, which is more than I can even imagine. It isn't fair. I wish I could make it better, but i can't. I don't know if the poetry makes me feel better - but it allows my grief to flow and it helps me to understand how my sister is doing. It touches me in sore places, and reminds me how beautiful and misssed Thomas is. x