Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Jet

From Mirne and Craigs blog:
"This morning I woke to the sun's light coming through the curtains in the hospital room. I immediately knew that something was wrong. Jet had not woken me for his feed. I rushed to his hospital cot and felt his face. I saw his lips. I knew we had lost another one."

Mirne and Craig who live in the Netherlands broke the news that their third child Jet passed away on Monday. He was born on Saturday morning and lived for 3 days with his elated parents. Jet is their third child born and their third child to pass away, in the last 3 years 1 month and 1 week Mirne and Craig have lost 3 babies, firstly they lost Freja, then they lost Kees and now they have lost Jet. Losing 3 babies is totally off the scale of unfair and completely off the scale of tragedy and sadness, so far off the scale I just can't comprehend it.
I want to say to Mirne and Craig that I am so very sorry.
I am here and I will remember, I will tell people about your beautiful baby Jet, I will tell them about Kees and Freja too. I am shattered, floored and speechless. I can't begin to know what you are feeling. I can't begin to imagine how you are going to pick up your lives without any of your three beautiful children living. Its a tragic situation beyond all of my worst nightmares. I offer my condolences to you for your loss.
In my memory I go back to the morning after Thomas died, when I woke moaning and crying with a hole in my heart, I didn't want to consider going forward, I just wanted to go back. The pain is the worst I ever felt. Pain is an inadequate word. I just wanted to hold onto my Husband and be lost too. I can't imagine having to feel that raw grief again and again.
I don't think that anyone ever thought that Mirne and Craig would have to bury another baby. I know Mirne said on her blog that she wasn't taking anything for granted, just because she was pregnant didn't mean that she was going to bring a baby home to grow up and be their living family until they were old. To be pregnant is to be hopeful of a happy outcome and to have those hopes and dreams and love shredded one more time is too much. Too much to give, too many times.

I lit a candle in the window tonight and spoke Jets name. I am remembering Jet tonight, along with Freja and Kees, and keeping Mirne and Craig in my thoughts and prayers too.

2 comments:

  1. It was a nice way to remember Jet. I too just cannot imagine.

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  2. I just happened across your blog and your story really hits close to home with me. Our daughter was born in March and was diagnosed with T-18 on the day she was born... Her diagnosis was confirmed two days after she was born, and many other complications were found. She too had TEF and EA, like your son, as well as several other conditions including a heart defect. She was a little fighter and we enjoyed her so much during those 15 days of her life. Thomas is a beautiful baby, I am so sorry that you had to lose him too. He will be in my thoughts.

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